Are We the Jones'.... Children?

So as you know we got a new roof. And we were the first ones in the neighborhood to get it because A) we used our friend's friend, a roofer, and B) Austin is an insurance guy (not personal lines, but still) so he knows how to escalate and C) Our insurance guy is our best friend. We were in his wedding. 'Nuf said.

Like I was saying, we got a new roof, we were the first ones and we also got an upgrade, architectual shingles (in Landmark Moire black... yes this is important... yes i'm using foreshadowing but telling you so it's not really foreshadowing... hmmm). So we have neighbors coming over. Often. To ask us about our shingles, who did our roof, what brand are the shingles, even what color. Well Austin has fielded most all of the questions up until now because i'm a bitch I don't want to talk to people after i've just been paid forced to talk to people all day long. However, color?! He couldn't answer the question so one guy said no worries. He'd come back. And bring his roofer. And bring samples. OMG - is there such a thing as a roof designer? If so, what's the fee? This guy owes us.

3 Days Later; 7 o'clock in the evening

DING DONG. Reuben freaks out. Austin goes to the door (see above for reasoning why I don't go). It's the guy. And his roofer. And the roofer want to know if Austin's parents are at home so they can ask them a few questions about the roof. The neighbor dude is like NO NO NO -he's the man of the house (hehe). Austin's like yeah...that's right (outwardly offended but secretly pleased that weekend binge drinking and chain smoking aren't catching up with him he still looks so young). So the guy precedes to bring up color again so in comes Austin (holding Reuben), a small foreign man (neighbor) and a big white man (roofer) holding samples.

Me: "HI. Moire Black. That's it" (I point, almost getting pesto on his sample board).
Roofer: "Mam, are you cer-?"
Me: :YES. It's moire black." (stirring pesto)
Roofer: "Are you sure it's not char-?
Me: "YES. Charcoal is too dark. I was told that if you go too dark you're unable to see the depth in the architectual shingles and are therefore paying for an effect that no one can see. Moire black is as dark as you can go and still see it, hence why we chose it. "
Roofer: "SHE'S RIGHT."
Neighbor: "Thank you, Mam."
Austin: "Can you fucking believe they wanted to know if my parents were at home?"
Me: All of these neighbors are trying to get our roof. Does this mean we're the Jones'???!!!

Austin: Nope. We're the Jones' children.
Me: Home from college? No, I can't entertain this because it would mean we're siblings and I HATE when we get that. Grrr.

THE END!